Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone! Even though our general meeting is on Tuesday, February 18, let’s wear red, pink, and lilac. Scams against the elderly are common and nothing to laugh about; many seniors have been scammed out of money and even their life savings. However, some scams are so poorly planned and thought out that they deserve ridicule. One such is what I call the “IRS scam”; some of you are probably familiar with the female robot voice which says something to the effect that “the IRS has issued an outstanding warrant for your arrest. If you do not report to the magistrate, you will be expired in four days.” First of all, the scammer doesn’t seem to know that there are no magistrate courts in the U.S.; those exist in Great Britain. Second of all, what does it mean to be expired? Maybe the robot thinks we are all library cards or gift cards/coupons that are about to outlive their usefulness? I wish I had a sports whistle to blow into the phone – but then there might be a real person behind the robot, and I don’t want to damage their eardrum. Remember: THE IRS WILL ONLY CONTACT YOU BY SNAIL MAIL.