Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you.
The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. “Goat,” the little boy replied. “Goat?” replied the startled man of the cloth, “Are you sure about that?” “Yep,” said the youngster. “I heard Dad say to Mom, ‘Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.’ Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth!
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night:
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, “I did some schoolwork.”
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, “Ok, Ok. I was at a friend’s house watching movies.”
Dad asks, “What movie did you watch?”
Son says, “Toy Story.”
The robot slaps the son. Son says, “Ok, Ok, we were watching porn.”
Dad says, “What? At your age I didn’t even know what porn was.”
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, “Well, he certainly is your son.”
The robot slaps the mother.
Robot – For Sale
Book Club…Angie Jaggars
Enjoy reading, then discussing books (no romance or sci-fi)? Join us on the 4th Thursday evening of each month. More info: Angie Jaggars, Campbell Armchair Literati, 408-292-4063.
Remember the Chevy Chase horror movies about taking the family across the country? Well, Samantha Brown, writing in on our AARP bulletin of last spring, gives these hints:
- Decide who’s paying. Cruises and rental houses are good bets if you want to avoid hidden costs.
- Choose a destination to suit all interests. Disneyland and Disney World are usually universal favorites, but consider how much walking is involved. Big cities like Chicago and New York offer a plethora of cultural and dining interests. Also they offer a variety of shopping and transportation choices.
- Include each traveler’s top attraction. If the group has divided interests, consider splitting up for an afternoon or morning.
- Steal away with the youngsters. Offer to take the grandkids out for dinner or ice cream so parents can have a “date night.” Adult kids, do the same for your parents.
- Schedule a daily respite. Everyone needs a break; schedule one about three in the afternoon when energy lags.
- Above all, take lots of photos and work on an album together. These moments are precious and enjoy them!
Opportunity Tickets…Carol Barcelos
October drawings at three for $1 are:
Tomato Thyme $40 408-723-7333
1560 Hamilton Ave., San Jose
(Thanks to Carole Barcelos)
Free Manicure French Nails 408-879-060
2091 S. Bascom Ave, Campbell
(Thanks to Marlene Hruby)
(Thanks to the Howe Family)
September winners were:
Big Basin Winery: Margaret Schieck
Starbucks Gift Basket: Paddy Wray
Autumn Decoration: Jean Ulrich
Campbell Express: Susan Landry
Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance? … Phyllis Diller
A Get Well card was sent to Irma Morris, who fell and hurt her back. She is in a brace.
The League of Women Voters of San Jose and Santa Clara spoke to our Campbell Area Chapter on Tuesday, September 20 and explained some of the ballot measures that voters will be confronted with this November.
- For AARP members who missed the presentation, the League has a website with an easy to read and brief explanation about each of the 17 state ballot measures, background, fiscal impacts and the “pros and cons” of each measure. To find that information, go to CAVotes.org At this website, the League has a publication called “Pros and Cons” which you can download in multiple languages, and has everything one needs to know about the upcoming November 8 elections.
- Another important resource for voters is the League’s website: www.voersedge.org/CA. There you can type in your address, see everything on your ballot, find your polling place and get unbiased information on all of one’s voting choices.
- The League of Women Voters is a nonprofit national organization with state and local leagues. The League never supports or opposes any political candidate or party, and the organization’s hundreds of volunteers are especially busy during election years providing programs to inform voters about candidates and making presentations about ballot measures.
- Throughout the year, the League focuses on promoting voting rights, voter participation and knowledge, and registration. The League has both an educational component as well as an Action and advocacy components.
- The California league’s priorities are voted on by its membership and its current priorities include: Money in Politics, Climate Change and California Water Resources. League members also conduct studies to learn about issues before they take action. Last year, the California leagues participated in a study on higher education.
- The league is nearly 100 years old; its beginnings go back to the suffrage movement as many women involved in getting the vote formed the League to ensure that the new women voters would be well-informed. Today, the League invites both men and women aged 16 and older to become members.
- For more information about the League, go to LWVC.org In Santa Clara County there are five local leagues: Cupertino/Sunnyvale, Los Altos/ Mountain View, Palo Alto, San Jose/Santa Clara, and the Southwest Santa Clara League (Campbell, Los Gatos, Monte Sereno and Saratoga).
- The League also has a regional level, the Bay Area League of Women Voters representing the nine Bay Area counties and its 20 leagues; LWVBA focuses on topics such as regional transportation, air quality, housing, water, etc.