Musings … Members

Special Horse Shelly Schwartz

A man needed a horse, so he went to a church and got one.  Before he left, the priest told him that it was a special horse.  In order to make the horse go, you say, “Thank God;” and for it to stop, you say, “Amen.”

So the man left; and a few minutes later, he dozed off on his horse.  Hours later, he woke up and his horse was racing him toward the edge of a cliff.  Just in time, he shouted, “Amen!” and the horse stopped a few inches from the edge.

“Whew,” said the man, “Thank God!”

Musings Lynda Martinez

It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.

It’s weird being the same age as old people. When I was a kid I wanted to be older.  This is not what I expected. 

I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my sense of humor suggests I’m 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.

We don’t do nice things for people because they are nice, we do them because WE are nice.”

More Musings Marilyn Clough

When you’re young, you sneak out of the house to go to parties. When you’re older, you sneak out of parties to go home.

And More ,,, Joy Walsh

If you drop something when you’re younger, you just pick it up. When you’re older and you drop something, you stare at it for a bit, contemplating if you actually need it anymore

Whoops … Shelly Schwartz

Seeing a homeless guy begging on the street, a woman took pity on him and gave him a handful of change.

“Thank you,” said the homeless man. “Your generosity is much appreciated. You know, my life used to be great, but just look at the state of me now.”

“How do you mean?” asked the woman.

“Well,” he explained. “I was a multi-millionaire. I had bank accounts all over the world with hundreds of thousands of dollars deposited in each.”

“So where did it all go wrong?” she asked.

The homeless man sighed, “I forgot my mother’s maiden name.”

Thoughts on Aging … Shelly Schwartz

– The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.
– You’re getting old when you’re sitting in a rocker and you can’t get it started.
– You’re getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before.

More Covid-10 Humor … Lynda Martinez

They said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the grocery store.  They lied; everybody else had clothes on.

I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are.

I’m going to stay up on New Year’s Eve this year.  Not to see the New Year in, but to make sure this one leaves.