Whoops … Shelly Schwartz

Seeing a homeless guy begging on the street, a woman took pity on him and gave him a handful of change.

“Thank you,” said the homeless man. “Your generosity is much appreciated. You know, my life used to be great, but just look at the state of me now.”

“How do you mean?” asked the woman.

“Well,” he explained. “I was a multi-millionaire. I had bank accounts all over the world with hundreds of thousands of dollars deposited in each.”

“So where did it all go wrong?” she asked.

The homeless man sighed, “I forgot my mother’s maiden name.”

Thoughts on Aging … Shelly Schwartz

– The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.
– You’re getting old when you’re sitting in a rocker and you can’t get it started.
– You’re getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before.

More Covid-10 Humor … Lynda Martinez

They said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the grocery store.  They lied; everybody else had clothes on.

I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are.

I’m going to stay up on New Year’s Eve this year.  Not to see the New Year in, but to make sure this one leaves.

Let’s Laugh at Covid-19 … Sheila Bailey and Lynda Martinez

Sheila Bailey

For the first time in history:  We can save the human race by laying in front of the TV and doing nothing.  Let’s not screw this up!

I washed my hands so many times, I found the answers to my 8th grade Social Studies test.

This quarantine has me realizing why my dog gets so excited about something moving outside and going for walks or car rides.  I think I just barked at a squirrel.

Lynda Martinez

Appropriate analogy: “The curve is flattening so we can start lifting restrictions now” = “The parachute has slowed our rate of descent, so we can take it off now”.

For the second part of this quarantine do we have to stay with the same family or will they relocate us?  Asking for myself.

Putting a drink in each room of my house today and calling it a pub crawl.

Enjoy your day.  You don’t have anything else to do.