Some Grins (That You Might Have To Be Older To Really Appreciate) Marilyn Clough

I’m on two diets.  I wasn’t getting enough food on one.

Don’t irritate old people.  The older we get, the less “Life in prison” is a deterrent.

Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror, and think, “That can’t be accurate”?

More GrinsShelly Schwartz

A husband is throwing darts at his wife’s photo and not a single throw is hitting the target.

From another room, the wife calls: “Honey, what are you doing?”

Husband: “MISSING YOU…”

My boss calls me “the computer” — which has nothing to do with intelligence:  I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.

Observations Veronika Phillips     and     Conjecture Marilyn Clough

In America they call it “lobbying.”  Everywhere else in the world they call it “bribery and corruption.”

A new study found that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits.  And people who order quad shot, not-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to be their victims.

Aliens probably fly by earth and lock their doors!

Signs of Life Lynda Martinez

IN A SHOE-REPAIR STORE:  “We will heel you.  We will save your sole.  We will even dye for you.”

IN A VETERINARIAN’S WAITING ROOM:  “Be back in 5 minutes.  Sit…  Stay…”