Month: July 2020

I stepped on my scale this morning.  It said: “Please practice social distancing.  Only one person at a time on scale.”

Not to brag, but I haven’t been late to anything in over 12 weeks.

It may take a village to raise a child, but I swear it’s going to take a vineyard to home school one.

The spread of Covid-19 is based on two things: 1. How dense the population is, and 2. How dense the population is.

People keep asking: “Is coronavirus REALLY all that serious?”  Listen y’all, the churches and casinos are closed.  When heaven and hell agree on the same thing it’s probably pretty serious.

Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask and ask for money.

Submitted by ***Brittney Harrell***

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.  As they lay down for the night, Holmes said:” Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?”

Watson said, “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes: “And what does that tell you?”

Watson: “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.  What does it tell you?”

Holmes: “Somebody stole our tent.”